Dear U.N., Rome Club, and Bildenberg group and all your buddy fiends,
Thank you all so much for deciding that the world population must be reduced by 90%. We're sure you have made this decision in the world's best interest.
We applaud you all for being the first to sacrifice your lives, and the lives of all your associates and families towards this effort. We're sure the rest of us will be eternally grateful for your commitment in making the world a better place.
We know that without your sage leadership, our world will be so much better off. Thanks again for alleviating the rest of us from your inhuman values and unethical actions by dying first and setting such a fine example of martyrdom. God speed!